Thursday, October 1, 2015

Review: Never Never by Brianna Shrum

Release Date: September 22, 2015
Publisher: Spencer Hill Press
Source: NetGalley
Author Links: Goodreads | Website | Twitter
James Hook is a child who only wants to grow up.
When he meets Peter Pan, a boy who loves to pretend and is intent on never becoming a man, James decides he could try being a child—at least briefly. James joins Peter Pan on a holiday to Neverland, a place of adventure created by children’s dreams, but Neverland is not for the faint of heart. Soon James finds himself longing for home, determined that he is destined to be a man. But Peter refuses to take him back, leaving James trapped in a world just beyond the one he loves. A world where children are to never grow up.
But grow up he does.

And thus begins the epic adventure of a Lost Boy and a Pirate.
This story isn’t about Peter Pan; it’s about the boy whose life he stole. It’s about a man in a world that hates men. It’s about the feared Captain James Hook and his passionate quest to kill the Pan, an impossible feat in a magical land where everyone loves Peter Pan.
Except one.

Boy, this was just kinda bleak and depressing.
I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. I guess I was hoping for something different? To be honest, Peter Pan & his Co. are nowhere near my favorite characters. Even as a child, I thought he was obnoxious and stupid, and the Disney movie just depressed me. What was wrong with those people? Why the Hell did Wendy act like such an adult? Why wouldn't her parents let her stay with her brothers in the nursery? God! Those people were cruel! No wonder she wandered off with that creepy Pan kid. And then, why didn't he come back and live with her family at the end of the story?

The whole thing was just f-ed up. To me, anyway.
Point is, I don't even like this story when it's not being retold in some horribly gloomy way from Hook's perspective. But if you are one of the millions of readers who adore anything Pan-related, you may have an entirely different experience than I did.
Unfortunately, there was nothing about this one that I enjoyed. Sorry.

Was Hook supposed to be a villain by the end? If so, I thought the author did a poor job convincing me that he had done anything wrong. And Pan? I wanted him dead. Tiger Lilly, too! Someone please run both those bitches through with a sword!

Wendy? Shove that obnoxious little twat overboard, please. And her idiot brothers. And while you're at it, the rest of those spineless Lost Boys, as well. All of 'em.
I wanna hear a big SPLASH!

Well, Anne, if a book can make you feel this angry, then the author did a good job, right? 
Ok, maybe you have a point. If the author's point was to make me hate every single character in this story...job well done!
Thing is, I was also bored during this book. Like, reallyreallyreally bored. The writing wasn't bad, but the story just sort of drug on and on and on and on without anything exciting going down.
It was just one shitty thing after another happening to James Hook. And it felt like I was reading it in Real Time. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Admittedly, I'm not a fan of stories that don't give a reader hope. I don't enjoy reading defeatist stuff, and I don't enjoy watching someone self-destruct. Particularly when there was nothing they could have done to change the outcome. And I especially don't enjoy reading about it when there's no action.
Hook and Pan fight. Hook could kill him...but because {insert inexplicable reason here} doesn't. Pan does something childishly evil. Wash, rinse, repeat.
And then it ends.

When I closed the book last night, I was ready to give this one star for wasting my time. But I honestly think the author is a good writer, so maybe it's just that it wasn't my cuppa.

Recommended for hardcore fans of this story only.


Melissa (My words and pages) said...

The book doesn't really call to me to read it. So I'll pass. :) Thank you!

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